I used to throw things and hurt myself when I got upset at my son. eventually my son ended up going into foster care because I chose to kill myself over hurting him. Great not hurting him but what I didnt realize the way I was not hurting him was actually hurting him. He went through alot of emotional crap because of it. Parents going off like this is normal especially when they grew up in the type of home I was in - my parents threw things when they got mad. I dissociated during it but those memories got stored in my brain and since I wasn't taught any different way to handle things when I had a child and got upset I would rerun that memory and throw things not at my son and I wasn't physically hurting him but like seeing my parents deal with things by throwing things emotionally hurt me, it caused him some emotional harm. My son went into foster care for a year while both him and I entered individual and family therapy. While he was in care I located a parenting class and an anger management class. Those two classes were amazing, great bunch of people running them and a great bunch of parents that were gonig through some of the things I was. I completed those classes 5 years ago and then took them again as a refresher and so that I can learn even more things. Even now 5 years later some of those fellow parents are still here for me. As for my son - well he came home for a bit but he still thinks lashing out is the way to go - partly because of seeing me all those years going off and partly because of having a "psychotic" (his therapist and DHS caseworkers word for discribing my sons problem) mental disorder. My son will never be coming home to live again. DHS doesn't want to get a call in the future that he has killed me or the family cat. Instead he is going to live the rest of his childhood bouncing in and out of residential treatment programs and therapeutic foster homes when they deem his behavior problem under control enough so he will not be throwing things and trying to hurt people they will allow visitation with him. That means I could possibly see him this week or not until he turns 18 and is released from their care because he aged out. He is 13. I have not seen him since he was 9 when he was put back in care to go throught residential treatment program.

Please please locate parenting classes and anger management classes, put him into therapy to correct any possible emotional damage that accidentally got caused and the two of you go through family therapy so you can work out the problems before what happened to me happens to you.

you are not a bad parent, and he's not a bad kid the two of you just need some new coping tools because the ones you were taught and the ones he was taught or learned from watching are not working. parenting classes, anger management classes and family therapy will teach you those tools and you will also meet real time parents that are going through the same things.