Quote:
Originally Posted by StrongerMan
To touch on your particular situation, melancholy65. What stands out to me in your description of this man is that you said he is so sad and depressed. Narcissists, for instance, usually do not exhibit deep depression unless they have received a severe narcissistic wound ie. they have just been dumped. Even then, this is relatively short lived and is more of a "pity party" meant to garner supply from loved ones and friends in the form of sympathy and affirmation. Always the poor victim til the end. Whatever this man's condition (bi-polar?), it still is toxic to you. You have to understand that you couldn't fix or save him. You could help him but that involves great risks. He has to be willing to help himself overcome his depression and self defeating behavior. It is perfectly ok to put you and your mental health first when dealing with someone like this. Nothing to feel guilty about.
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Thank you for responding. I don't believe I feel guilty....just sad and frustrated I am having such a hard time removing myself from this situation. I am all about taking care of myself... physically and mentally..so that is why I am here to seek advice and guidance. I fell in love with a very sensitive and open soul. I did see the sadness...but then a man so happy and wanting to be a different person for me....how could that not make anyone happy? To be the reason someone wants to change. But then it was like a light went out for him one day and things spiraled after that. He could not hide his true self..and he had already taken my heart. aghhhhhhh. But I have told him I need to release this. How it is too hard for me as it drains my energy. I tend to absorb all his sadness and it weighs on me so heavily. I have to stop contact all together to regain myself