I've posted this in the aspie section as well, but I'm posting it here too, since it's so important for me to figure this stuff out.

Basically, my ex left when my son was five. We stayed in touch, he's been seeing his son regularly for the last ten years. He remarried five or six years ago... then he dumped her. At the most awful time he could have done... just as her mother was dying. He's since been enamored of a woman... my son has just got to terms with that.

Today, out of the blue, my ex phones me up and tells me it's not just him and her... it's him, and her, and him... it's a polyamourous triad. My son's meant to be seeing his Dad next week, and this was the week he was meant to see the new girlfriend. My ex tells me, "don't worry... Mxxx won't be in the bed with Jxxx."

First of all, he's been going out with this woman for a year now... maybe even longer. He's been in this polyamorous relationship for a long time. Why didn't he say something sooner? I would have helped smooth the way... my son was sexually assaulted at a previous school, I've only just got him used to the idea of homosexuality not being big boys grabbing little boys and dry humping them.

Now I've got to explain to him that his father didn't just treat me badly, didn't just treat his ex wife badly... he also chucked in everything to go live with a woman and her boyfriend.

I'm worried that these people are taking advantage of my ex, by the way, because he's getting a reduncy payout... that they're going to live on his money for a year until it runs out.

But that's a different problem... in the meantime, how do I get my son to a place where he can understand his father's choices? Within a week?

ARGH!