hi nico i'm steph it may sound weird but i think we two peas in the same pod i'm going throught the exact same thing i have suffered with anxiety since i was a child i did the same hid it for the most the most troubling thing with anxiety is in my case it kind of went a way for a bit then came back a few years later with full force i'm also agoraphobic i prefer staying in my home maybe it's because thats where i feel more safe i went through the whole ordeal with getting a job and not being able to keep it due to my anxieties they take over i know how you must feel i hate it when family start judging and in way start even making remarks like oh your lazy blah blah blah etc.. it hurts because only when you do have anxiety this bad they can not understand how we live i live in constant fear i'm chronic worrier especially about my health but sometimes i just sit down on a bed and as ridicoulous as this may sound i grab some crayons and draw or color you can't imagine how relaxinfg it is . i hope you do get some kind of relief life sucks with anxiety if you ever just want to bent out and just talk till you can no longer just private message me here and i'll respond you are not alone trust me i know how you feel i'm 23 and have lost every job i have had lol