benjay
it certainly seems like you are experiencing symptoms of depression. are you seeing a therapist? if not, you may want to consider it. as for taking drugs, as dani states, illegal drugs may make you feel better temporarily, but are worse for you in the longrun. if you are depressed enough that you think medication would help, see your medical doctor or a psychiatrist.

if posting helped, keep posting. you can find lots of support here at PC. make sure to check out the live chat rooms for support as well.