Timely post! My T made a comment last week that was helpful at the time "you don't need to make a parade about it unles you want to" and I went down the road of turning it back on me and obessing about it. Familiar problem!

What was new this time was that for whatever reason I was able to say to myself "Hmmm that wasn't the spirit she meant that in. You can take it that way if you want but will it be helpful?" So it can change.. I think the awareness that you are "using T's word against you" is a great start!