Hi Niko. Sorry to hear youre going through all of this. I have a lot of the same issues..Ihave a hard time getting to and from work. I took three months off for depression when my husband died nad now Im labeled so I agree, just tell them its "physical" problems. I give youa lot of credit for trying. Its a thousand times harder for us to get through the day then people without these problems, we have to try so much harder- and we are called lazy! If you cant do it, then you cant do it- but my experience has been thatthe more I get to work and the more succcesses I have- even when Im a basket case, if I do it and I "survive" it snowballs into more successes. And the more I hide, the more I have to hide. That snowballs too.
Just take baby steps...one thing at a time, one day at a time..and dont think about everything, your whole life, your whole future at once. That would drive anybody nuts. I take xanax and Paxil, but when my anxiety really peaked I was taking Ativan too. It made me less zombie-like and made me just feel normal. Ill do my best to be here for you.

Hugs

Carolyn