Quote:
Originally Posted by StrongerMan
Have you ever seen the movie "As Good As It Gets" with Jack Nicholson? Your last post, melacholy65, reminded me of that. Where he said he was taking his pills again and "you make me want to be a better man". She said that was the best compliment anyone over gave to her. Very touching scene.
Relating to my experience, my ex's disorder (narcissism?) sucked that enthusiasm right out of me. I no longer had the energy to improve myself. All my energy went into managing a toxic relationship and figuring a way out. I did not have the knowledge I do now. But it probably wouldn't have helped her. It is sad that mental illness has such devastating effects for those afflicted and those around them beyond the obvious abuse and heartache. The disordered person actually meets someone who can really empathize with them, love them... get them. But their illness leaves them "so close, yet so far" from achieving that level of true love and true emotions. They leave us often to sadly repeat the same insanity over and over again and create more heartache and misery. It is tragic. This is the core of the love I had for me ex. A love that never was and could never be.
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YES! I guess we were in very similar situations. If they can not love themselves they can never lover others. The love, compassion, understanding and acceptance of them is still not enough. I know the hurt and angst over this. I have to say this was the only man I have ever had a relationship with as this. I have always had good men in my life..boyfriends...brothers...husband and dad. It was only the bad mother relationship. I was married for 25 years and he was a truly wonderful man with a lot of integrity...there was just another very personal issue between us that ended the marriage. So to have this kind of situation has thrown me for a loop. I went for the "bad boy" i guess. He will never let someone love him. I actually ended it all recently...as I have before and he will eventually text to say something and things inevitably start over again. I have said goodbye at least 4 times and he never will. I told him I would stay out of his way...that he needs to work out his life. So lately it has been me checking in on him...and he seems distant...I am sure depressed ...but I am so so so tired. I do not want to be concerned with him....I want out. I told him there is nothing I can do if he won't let me be there for him and he says nothing. So this leaves me feeling badly as I feel not enough....even though I KNOW I shouldn't ...it is just the way it is.