I was in therapy a really long time with my T and paid attention to how my feelings about her and therapy changed over time. I remember when I first saw her, she didn't say that much but every time she did say something, it was right on target, was amazingly right. Then, 4-6 years later, I started disagreeing with her (and that was okay, "I know what I know"). She was not as accurate as often.

Another strange thing was how I use to "avoid" engaging with her, I felt like she was trying to corral me (I felt like a wild horse :-) By the end of therapy 25+ years later, I was working hard to connect, to work together with her.

I saw my T for 9 years then didn't see her for another 9; I'd changed jobs, moved, gotten married, lots of good new things happened in my life in those 9 years I didn't see her. But then I had a crisis in my life and called her and saw her for another 9 years, 1996-2005. It was the same, only very different!

It was surreal because we'd get into exactly the same spots we use to get in 15 years previously BUT, they came out differently! I remember the sense of wonder I had when I suddenly realized that not only had I grown and changed in that period of time, but she had too!

That's the secret, rainbow; over time, things change. You get more and more experience with your T and yourself and separate from her and she from your ideals of her. How you perceive her changes as well as you and she both actually changing.

Remember how, when you were 5 summer seemed so long? Now think about this summer; it's almost over and it just started didn't it? It's the same with our relationship with T. Think about your marriage; how it was the first year you were married versus how it is now? How it was when you were dating versus after a couple years of marriage? You won't "love" your T any less as time goes by but the number of experiences with/without T will multiply so any "one" is not as important. Now with relatively few experiences with T and yourself relating to T, things look larger. As you take over responsibility for how you feel/relate the other person recedes in "importance" in your inner life. You become the center of yourself.