I think CBT would help with the thoughts. I'm doing a workbook on it (The Feeling Good Handbook > David Burns -but there are many out there) and it might help you see the distortion in your thoughts. Or maybe to write down and say
-this is the situation
-this is what I'm afraid will happen
-this is what ___ from my family would have done
-this is what bf would do
here's a form I've printed out that's helped me
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/docs/Th...cordSheet7.pdf
http://www.getselfhelp.co.uk/index.htmlthis website has been really helpful, I printed a bunch of the handouts and put them in a folder I carry around with me. Trust issues are hard to deal with, I've always had them too.

I hear the same things about first relationships never working. I think it's because they assume since you are so young when it starts by the time you fully grow into the adult version of yourself and realize what you want in your relationship you can be in a very different situation. In your teens/20s you change a lot and you may find that you don't click with that bf/gf the way that you used to. But it's not impossible, just not probable. I've been with my bf for almost 6 years now, he was my first bf. I'm absolutely a different person than I was 6 years ago, I don't think I'm done, I'll probably change more in the next 5 years. Same for him, the bf I met 6 years ago has changed and grown but we've both grown in directions that were still ok with. I think that's where things tend to not work, people grow apart.

Maybe the fact that people are telling you that your first bf won't work is causing some of your fears. "Well if it can't work, something has to happen to cause us to break up sometime, he's probably going to cheat". Don't write yourselves off based on your lack of dating history.

My side note on cheating. We had talked about it before -it was absolutely a dealbreaker for both of us. "The one thing I could never forgive is someone who cheats on me" -we both said it. But what I found out, is it's like an emergency situation -you never REALLY know how you'll react to it. When he told me, I was crushed, angry, all sorts of emotions packed together but for some reason I still loved him. Of course that only made me angrier -why the heck do I love him when he hurt me so much. It's been long and hard; harder than anything but were getting there.