Hello, I can relate to your sadness and I can relate to feeling like there is something wrong for not being able to cry or grieve. I couldn't really grieve until I found a better sense of safety. It took a long time - a really long time, and lot of work to get to that place of safety, but not because something was wrong with me, but because I was feeling afraid. If you are feeling only sadness, it could be depression. I've been told by a lot of therapists that depression in me is really my anger turned in. To turn that around, and be able to cry, I had to practice being angry at those who raped me. I started by writing down "anger statements" at them, then reading them out loud to myself and then in a support group. It was the beginning of a process of teaching myself how to be angry at them, not at me. In time, I have come to cry. This may sound strange, but I rejoice in my tears, because it took so long to claim that part of me back.

Give yourself the time you need

Be well

MTD