*trigger icon because I was battered woman and killed to stay alive*

I have not worked since Sept 1999 on the day when my BF came to the hospital where I worked and threatened to kill me right there. The hospital had always been my safe place and I totally freaked out and began crying and was unable to continue my shift and left and went to a domestic violence shelter. I moved back home two weeks later when my BF agreed to counseling but that didn't work and ultimately I shot and killed him in Sept 2000.

My brain at that point was fried. I was by then on social security disability and and did not expect to ever recover enough to work again. The PTSD still affects me but I have now regained my functioning more than I ever thought I could. I was in a psychiatric hospital for five weeks after his death and again another ten or so times for about a week, usually when the anniversary of the shooting was making my PTSD extreme. I have not been in the hospital for two years now. I think the last time I was hospitalized was when the guy in Canada on a Greyhound got decapitated and while I don't watch TV news just reading that on the internet was enough to set my PTSD going again because my BF had often told me he was going to cut off my head and put it on a stick.

I also have had ADHD and bipolar all my life which were not treated until I was in my late 30's but they do not interfere with my functioning with my current med regimen.

I have renewed my RN license and plan to complete a RN refresher course which will consist of self study CEUs, some classroom lectures and then working in the clinical area again with a preceptor. The program is individualized and I would like to prepare to return to work in critical care again although I am not yet certain which specific unit or hospital. I could also teach ACLS again; I taught for ten years and they paid me to teach so that would be easy money.

Today I received my RN license reinstatement. Also included was a letter from the board of nursing asking me to submit an explanation to the board office about my disability.

I do not think that my mental illness limits my ability to competently work as a RN. Actually the biggest challenge is going to be the effects of my asthma, I believe.

So what do I say to the board of nursing? It's a really long story that I don't think they probably need or want to hear but I don't want to be deceptive and minimize anything. Also I really don't think I want to say that I killed my BF because even though the law says that it was self defense and I acted as a reasonable, prudent person I don't want to freak them out.

To completely understand is the long story. The whole story would probably be a book or a movie but I just want them to know I've been through some ****, I have had a lot of therapy and I am never going to be the same person but I can be a competent RN.

But do they need to completely understand or do they just need to know I've had issues, I'm under a doctor's care and I am now stable and competent? I have an appointment Monday afternoon with my Pdoc so will ask his input and consider if he should submit a letter. Hoping you folks can help me think this through to make some notes to talk to my doc about best direction to go with this.

I don't want to say too much or too little. I was an expert critical care nurse before and I believe with the refresher course and a senior nurse that can mentor me for a few months I will do fine. Now how do I explain this to the RN board?

All ideas welcome!