I faced the emotions head on and won for once.

I told my friend (my ONLY friends) about me. The real me. Not the happy face life is grand me.

I told her about the depression (she knew about this, just not the depth of it), the bpd, cutting, suicide attempts... all of it.

I laid it all out and prayed like hell that I wouldn't be abandoned (have a nasty fear of everyone abandoning me).

It worked! I felt SO much better after telling her.

Still not sleeping, but not bursting at the seams anymore either