Well... my T wrote me right back

It was actually a long email (for him!) and explained that he was running behind a few hours. Then he said this:
"When you are in my office you are NEVER a second thought or ever in my way."

And he said that he was just trying to honor my decision about Monday either way - that it was my choice and he respected that.

You guys all made me feel so much better!!

I answered T back just now and shared something with him that dawned on me a few min ago when I was taking my shower...

"
When I was a kid, I remember TRYING to tell my mom about some stuff that happened to me. I remember that more than once she would be acting like she was listening to me.. but then one of my brothers would need something from her... and you know what happened, she would put me on PAUSE and go run to them. I felt that this was a norm when I was a child. And I never realized that until just now. Like it was another punishment for me being a girl!

It is difficult for me to accept that while I am in your office that I could in any way be important to you if there is a male around.... or in the same building... or world... LOL. That if a male needed you, that you would by default drop me to rush to their side. Like how my mom did ... wow. "

It is amazing to me how our past imacts how we feel about things in the NOW.