I struggle with an extreme amount of self hate. I can't even stand looking at myself, I start crying. I hide it from everyone b/c it's annoying and not their problem. But everything is my fault. Everything. I live my life that way too. I won't shop at Wal-Mart, because then I'm a party to the horrible corporate ethic they have that hurts small American business, their employees and those who work for their overseas vendors - that's an example of what I do. When I do go to Wal-Mart, the theme of disappointment in myself is mild, I do my best to logically and rationally reason my way through my ridiculous thoughts, but it's a pervasive theme. I look in the mirror and just want to claw my own face off. When I was in high school I actually won an award for it! lol. I was always recognized for "trying so hard" and "never giving up" and being a perfectionist. In reality, I just hated myself so much, that the only way to feel even a little bit perfect was to find a way to be perfect. I'm 31 now, and it's getting worse.