I always end up here when I'm feeling my lowest and have no one else to talk to. Hubby died in Feb. Today is one of those days when I just feel like crawling into that grave with him to be done with life and just to be with him. I almost feel like I've become invisible in this world and the one person who thought so much of me, the one I want to be with, the one who wanted to be with me above anyone else, is no longer here. I don't feel like I have a purpose in being here any more.

Today I got some notice from the court about starting the probate process and I am feeling overwhelmed and so worried about this. I don't understand it or exactly what's going to happen. I don't want to deal with it.

Thanks for letting me vent. Sorry if this post is disturbing in any way. If it strikes a note with you, please let me hear your thoughts. Since I'm here, it means I'm desperate. Thanks guys.