justempty
what you are feeling is completely normal, valid and understandable under your circumstances. having received notice from the court stirred up all those feelings regarding your loss and made everything fresh for you to reexperience. fear of the unknown only makes it worse. perhaps you could find a grief support group where there are others who have been through what you have been through to support you and answer questions for you. the local hospice here has a grief group that allows anybody who has experienced a loss to attend even if they werent on hospice. allow yourself your grief, cry, let it out. experiencing it is the only way to get through it. hang in there.