I hear ya. When I lost my mother I felt just like you do, so alone, with no purpose in life. I wish there was an easier way to grieve but it just takes time and lots of crying. You are doing the best thing for yourself by reaching out and by venting. You are not alone. and hold on to what you described, that at least there was one person who truly cared about you. May that thought sustain and validate you when times get tough.

As for the legal matters, they are hard to deal with when one is so distraught. Can someone help you with them?