I feel that sadness, too. I also feel really proud that I was brave enough, despite my background, to seek out someone who would give me what I needed. And because of it, I can actually enjoy my life.

It's a lot like if I had been suffering with a chronic illness, say, a vitamin deficiency, and then been given the right vitamin so I could function healthily again. T has been the medicine I needed, and eventually I will be able to produce it myself, and I won't need him anymore.

I'm glad you have a T who really listens to you and makes you feel safe. That's a gift that some people never have, from their parents or Ts or friends or anyone.