What does it mean to "feel like a woman" anyway? All of us are half male half female anyway. Everyone of us has fifty percent of our ancestry from men, fifty percent from females. I inherited my mother duckness from my Dad, and my aggressive streak from my mother. I don't believe that gender is all that important anyway, we need to know what we really feel like first as people, not as our sexual gender. It sounds to me like he's confused and depressed... not sure that sending him to the military would do a lot of good in the long run, though I can see why it's tempting. You know your son best though... and I think you're right, this isn't a transgender issue, it's a mental health issue of some sort. See if you can get him to start pulling his weight at the dorms, it might wake him up a bit. He sounds more like a kid than an adult at the moment. No wonder you're stressed.