{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Candy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} I'm so sorry you're going through all this!

My obsession is having a heart attack or a stroke. Most of the time, I don't think about it, but when my anxiety level is up for whatever reason, anything can trigger it.

I know more than I care to about both and I know I'm a prime candidate for either. Both my mother and hers died of strokes. My dad died of a heart attack.

At first, I tried doing what my aunt said to do and that is meet your fear head on. I did... UNWILLINGLY! I nursed my mom through her strokes till her death. I read up as much as I could but it made the phobia/obsession worse!

All I can say is that you'll work through it, whether it's by continuing to read or by finally getting enough and giving up on the reading. I understand you're going through PURE HELL right now!

Do you suppose you could get your doc to up your anxiety meds? That's the only thing that helps me when I get a twinge either in my head or my chest and the obsession starts. Lately, I've been getting a pain behind my right eye and will often get double vision. I'm seriously thinking of getting my brain checked out. The eye doctor didn't find any reason for it. Mini-strokes???