just all urrrrg and blah

so i go to t and he's all like do the looking thing and it's just like why the hell would i want to do that. have absolutely no idea. and he's like so you're not invisible and you can make connections. and i just have absolutely zero interest in connecting to people. I DONT WANT THAT. and he's all like what about the "others" ask inside and just URRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRG. and i'm like i know things get all messed up sometimes cause there's no friends and he's like yes they get very messed up. BUT I DONT WANT FRIENDS. I DONT WANT ANYONE NEAR ME. and he doesn't talk more about it. just keeps pushing to do the stupid looking thing WHICH I HATE. and the whole thing is just major URG. like sure sometimes there's distress over being alone. but what if I get distressed by being with people. WHY do we hafta do the not being alone stuff. WHY doesnt what i want count.