(((candy)))) I'm not going to speak to your meds at this point, but the other issue I heard you raise: thinking about death.

I've been there, a few times. Prior to my disabling injury.

If it weren't for my faith in after life, in a supreme being, I don't think I could have handled what I went through those times. If you have any inkling of this, or perhaps if you have NO inkling of such, then that might be a fulfilling search?

Of course, I had been ill and was really tired and "ready" for it to end. That it didn't end surprised everyone.

We have no clue what the future is. Worrying about it does nothing to help us now. I think double checking the whys of meds is a good thing, but not to the point of such franticism. I hope you find something to help with the anxiety. TC