Thread: not belonging
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Old Aug 06, 2011, 04:27 AM
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dinosaurs dinosaurs is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2007
Location: on the path to healing
Posts: 785
i never feel like i belong anywhere. i try really hard and do the things i'm supposed to do to meet people and participate and get to know them. and i guess generally people are civil to me and sometimes they say they like me. but it just never works for me. it always feels like they're just tolerating me and i never feel liked and if i go quiet i'm never missed. i never feel understood. i feel like i'm just too different to fit in. i never feel like part of a group. i see people around me doing what i'm doing and they make friends and i just really don't understand how it happens for them but not me.

i usually give up because i don't belong and try moving to another group. but the same thing happens over and over. i know moving groups isn't the answer. i've done a lot of work on learning to like myself but it hasn't helped with this at all. i don't want advice on how to meet people or talk to people or anything like that. i just really have no idea how to belong.
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He said that we can email as MUCH as we want (100 times per day). Believe in this - it is challenging fears about being punished. It is okay to be seen. You are not a nuisance. "Too much" simply means exploration, not punishment/withdrawal. Trust in him.

Not looking at him is about keeping aspects of self hidden/secret. We know that is not the healthy choice. Keep working on this - you will get there.

Accept there are parts. Be kind and gentle with them. Working with parts and feelings is the key to happiness. We have been happy before when listened to them and accepted them and were open to feelings. Write in your journal - it is safe to do so.
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Thanks for this!
Anonymous32463, danii24, ExiExi