first off byz i don't feel your (written) demeanor here at pc is threatening. i see you as a thinker, a seeker of knowledge and understanding, a work in progress as we all are i hope. i'm always interested in your threads or comments 'cause for me they are helpful or informative. no i am not stroking you. it is just my belief about you. a personal observation of you is i often feel as tho you are holding back emotionally. i could be mistaken. perhaps i'm projecting my own self. i hide behind intellectualism sometimes rather than feeling my emotions. and feedback from ppl IRL is beneficial to all of us. keeping an open mind re criticism or observations about us can help us grow. one of the ways we are "read" is body language not just words.

the article was excellent. it reminded me that when i am overpowering someone else my actions are really based on fear within myself!
i had to practice patience and tolerance of my staff while working. i possess a caustic tongue if i don't use restraint. before therapy i would become impatient when staff members didn't grasp something as quickly as i did. i learned not everyone has that natural ability. i learned to be grateful for what i had but also to be kinder to others. the results were rewarding.
i once thought my ability to "chew someone up and spit them out" was an admirable trait. i'm not proud of that previous behavior. i know now it was a detriment, a liability. i've pretty much mastered the fact that i do not "win" doing it. i only cause fear in others.
in a social setting however i am much more thoughtful of others. that needs to be deciphered to understand why i was one way in a work environment as opposed to a social setting.
anger-it is my understanding that anger is a secondary emotion sparked by fear, a primary emotion. unless i can channel the anger in a constructive manner i shoot myself in my own foot. it too can drive ppl away from me otherwise. tho rage is an ongoing bugaboo for me but rarely happens. when i am not validated my reaction is rage. i'm working on that. it stems from my childhood i believe.
this saying helps me a lot throughout my day and appraisal at night..."how did i conduct my affairs today?" it helps me determine if i am making progress or points out what i still need to work on.
thanks for the thread, byz.