I have horrendous problems making friends. Sometimes I feel like I know more people than anyone else but I'm not really comfortable with people getting to know me too well; for all the people I know, practically nobody really knows me.

My mother is anti-social and always has been. As children she'd always tell my siblings and me that other people didn't want to be bothered with us, other mothers didn't want us inviting their children to our house or us visiting other kids in their homes. My mother has always been an exceptionally pretty woman, my father was as handsome as a movie star, but Mother would always say things like our house wasn't nice like someone else's, our clothes weren't fancy, NOTHING was acceptable when it came to us interacting with others...and I've struggled with those old ideas my entire life, and I hate it!

Mother will soon be 90 - she's still a very attractive lady, she is in good health, her mind is sharp...but she has absolutely no use for anyone other than her own grown kids, not even our spouses, children and grandchildren.

All my life I've envied people who grew up in happy homes where friends, relatives, neighbors and classmates felt totally welcome...but overcoming things you've been told and lived with practically your entire life is not easy. It's a sad issue for me, too, dinosaurs. I love people so much but I honestly don't know how to relate to people and I'm uneasy getting close to people. I tend to keep people at a distance and it breaks my heart knowing it's my own fault.