I used to do suppress and hide it all the time. Eventually I got myself into some trouble mood wise. I ended up having a talk with my last Pdoc about this. I used to talk him out of hospitalizations when I really needed to go. I was never upfront with how about how I was doing. I told him all this and I told him this was bad because I was putting myself at risk. Especially when I have been really suicidal. I always felt too ashamed to admit it. My Pdoc wasn't surprised given my history of anorexia, he said I was probably a good hider because of the anorexia. Makes sense.

I have a new Pdoc now, and I have made sure I do not continue the hiding pattern, even if I feel uncomfortable. He can't really help me if he hasn't a clue what I am dealing with.

(((Miss.Laura)))
You have nothing to be ashamed of, especially when it comes to your mental health support team. I used to try and tell myself "imagine what they have heard, they have heard everything". I know what you mean about feeling like a burden, that's something I am working on myself.