I haven't been in this forum in ages due to the short life spans of so many threads here, and this forum not being the primary focus of the site itself. (The site's focus is for people who have these mental conditions, not so much for family & spouses)

A good site is Depression Fallout. It is for people who have depressed (and bi-polar) people in their lives, be it a spouse, sibing, parent etc. Way busier than this. The companion book by Anne Sheffield is Depression Fallout: What you can do to preserve the bond.

I had a boyfriend who is severely depressed for almost 4 years. We broke up this January (nice way to start the year and decade) because he is too sick to be in a relationship. He might love me, but he's not "there" or able to participate in the relationship. It was okay the first 2 years, but then he spiraled downward, esp. after he just dropped therapy.