KD, you're right -- I want to know everything I can find out. The trouble is, what I'm finding out is distressing! It's making me wonder if my docs, any of them, know what they're doing.

I think I am flipping out over all this right now because of the impending loss of my T. That feels like a death to me. Gregory is going to take a very large part of me to Tennessee with him. I can't imagine not seeing him every week, not hearing his voice or his laugh or anything else, probably ever again. I start bawling every time I think about it. I have opened myself wide to him, wider than I have to anyone, ever, T or otherwise. And now that part of my life is dying, in a sense, and so I'm worried that I will too.

I dunno if that makes any sense. But please don't take it on Petunia. She was trying to help, and has helped me many times with good information. I'm just being extra-sensitive (which is a neat trick, as I'm really sensitive to begin with!).

Candy