I've been hiding my moods and issues for years now. I didn't know I was bipolar until recently but I've always known something was wrong and it's been important to me to appear "normal". I grew up in a household where we weren't allowed to express our negative emotions and we were constantly invalidated in our feelings so I have major issues with showing emotion in front of others and appearing "weak". I try so hard to keep up appearances at work and with acquaintances and everything. It's hard and exhausting. I do tell my t the truth about how I'm feeling though and I'm trying to be more open with my husband but it's hard. I've been in a nasty depression for so long it's very frustrating.