I have seen on the Forums that lots of people have gotten diagnosed with personality disorders. That surprises me, and I wonder what you have to display to get diagnosed with PD. My experience is that psychiatrists are slow and reluctant to officially diagnose avoidant personality disorder, as with other personality disorders.

You speak about feeling depressed as a consequence of having been in a social situation where you felt intimidated and ill at ease. Have you been diagnosed with a mood disorder? For instance, have you been diagnosed with a depressive disorder? If so, did you feel that your main problem was being minimized?

Describing shyness as "crippling" and having the sense of being in "chains" sounds like a very good way of describing social avoidance. To me, it seems like depression is a symptom. I have depression and social anxiety. The pdocs focus on the mood and trying to find a drug that will improve the mood. I do manage to break out of avoidance from time to time. Experiencing that, though it is only temporary, improves my mood better than medication.

I'm glad you have made yourself aware that there is such a thing as APD. Someone should listen to you. Putting an official name on a problem can make it more manageable, in my opinion. Its sad to hear you say it has ruined your life, but I can believe that it can. Also, I'm sorry that your husband has died.

I don't feel convinced that your situation is hopeless. I hope you will post more about this problem. There are others of us whose lives have been so much more lonely and unhappy than would have been the case if we didn't have this disorder.