Quote:
Originally Posted by learning1
I'm getting a little confused but I think I understand what we're talking about. I want to explain what I was talking about better if I can.
At first in your op I think you wrote about dysfunctional feelings. People replied that feelings are what they are. It's good to accept them, sit with them, etc. I think they were saying feelings aren't/can't be dysfunctional. (I'm not sure.)
Then in a later post you called it a dysfunctional reaction. A reaction probably could be dysfunctional I think.
Is your t calling either the feelings or the reaction dysfunctional? Anyway, I think it's great you're so open to trying to let yourself figure it out.
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okay, I'll tell you my experience. I think I've already posted it on another thread. My T added some restrictions to my phone contact with her. A normal person maybe would have been unhappy about it but would have engaged in a productive conversation about it and immediately learned that my T had suggested the new restrictions only because she thought I had requested it.
My emotional overreaction was a full body experience. Complete and overwhelming shame and embarrassment coursed through my body. It was close to having a panic attack. My throat became constricted, I could barely breathe, my stomach was in knots, I started sweating, I couldn't think any more, I wanted to run out of the room. In fact, I tried to leave but my T asked me to please stay.
So, yes, feelings are what they are. I did sit with this feeling but it was so strong I had no choice. More mild feelings can sometimes be stuffed and ignored and that's not good and that's when we should acknowledge them and try not to judge but listen to what they're saying.
My emotional response was way out of whack and way too extreme. It caused me intense discomfort.
Now, that was the dysfunctional emotional reaction. My dysfunctional 'action' overreaction is that I proclaimed that I will never ever ever call her again. Now, when the thought even crosses my mind to pick up phone to call her, I begin to experience the beginning of a panic attack again.
My T has continued to tell me that we had a misunderstanding and she invites me to call whenever and as often as I would like, but in my emotional mind there is extreme 'danger' in the act of placing a phone call. I am not able to get past it. My rational brain understands how over-the-top this reaction is but my emotional brain is just incapable of changing its feelings.
So, that's what I'm trying to figure how. Why am I having such a extremely powerful reaction and how can I overcome it? My T has suggested that I force myself to call her but I'm just unable at the moment. It feels like I would die if I did that.
I hope that answers your question.