Quote:
Originally Posted by treehouse
(((((((((skysblue)))))))
You are obviously feeling the feelings...for me, the next step is to talk to T about them. Even though I *want* to run away more than anything, I MAKE myself move *towards* T. And we talk and talk and talk and talk about it, and usually, I end up having to take a leap of faith and try trusting him again, and in the end, I actually end up feeling a little safer than I did before the rupture happened.
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This incident happened on July 20th and we have been talking about it. I have told T exactly what my feelings are and we've discussed it ad nauseum. I tell her that I can cognitively understand that my reaction is overboard but I am unable to alter my feelings.
I've decided that there's no point in talking about it anymore. We're not going anywhere with it. It's just back and forth- I explain my feelings; she listens compassionately and then she will explain again my faulty reasoning (I know my faulty reasoning); suggest that it stems from shame (I understand it stems from shame); advise that I sit with the feelings (Yeah, I've sat with the feelings); explore when else I've felt like that (Yeah, so, it, of course has happened previously with others), and yadda yedda yadda.
So, we're at a standstill and right now I'm sick of the discussion because it feels like we're going in circles and besides I don't care if I ever call her again and I don't want to and I won't. So enough talk already about that issue. I will accept that I have this sensitivity and I plan on changing the subject next Wednesday to something more interesting and where we might have a chance to be productive. If I have my way, we'll leave this topic behind forever.