ChristineEsq, that all jibes perfectly with your "case". (I'm starting to get a feel for what a T goes thru, trying to remember each person's story. Actually it's not that hard!) Beautifully written entry, BTW. Your intelligence shines through. That's Brene's book, right? I saw her on PBS pledge, love her, bought some too.

My "interpretation" is kind of floating up above the page for me, but I see potential jokes from material (not here, I mean like newspapers) that way, too.

1. She was experiencing countertransference.
2. The Gift of Fear = you trying to take care of your mother who really wasn't taking good care of you.

3. Self-serving = by taking care of your mother, you would take care of yourself.

4. Invested in a ghost - You subconsciously realize your mother was not there for you, but you did bristle when I suggested that before. That's why this r/s with T seems ghostly, beautiful metaphor. Or simile. Or whatever. Darn it, Jim, I'm a programmer, not an English major. That's my 2nd Star Trek ref today, what is going on? Sorry.

5. So T's countertransference was that she couldn't handle the feelings of failing you as your mother had, whether these were projected by you onto her, or she had her own feelings of failing you.

Honestly, I don't know if it's "right" for me to be offering my opinion on these things this way; as KazzaX says, T's just sit there while the clock is ticking and wait for you to come to your own conclusions. I can probably console myself with predicting you'll just say to me, exactly as I have said to my T's so many times, "No, THAT's not it!" Payback's a beach!