Hi Lavender,
I'm sorry for all that you are going through, I wish I could take away any misery you are feeling. I agree with everyone about trying to keep your dog, animals are very sensitive to our needs and give us unconditional love, unlike some people who you think are your friends and then abandon you when you need them the most. I had a best friend who could not understand my depression/anxiety, she would say things like "everyone gets depressed" and I've had other people tell me to "get over it", as if I was feeling bad on purpose. Now she calls me occasionally, as do my other so called friends, but now I"m the one keeping a distance. I am still struggling with letting go of people who I know are toxic for me, it's hard and it hurts when they have been your friends for so long. Just remember that you are not alone, you have all of us here and I will always be here for you. I'm happy that you have faith to keep you going, prayer is proven to help with emotional and physical illness, and knowing their is a reason for everything, even if we cannot see it at the moment, helps. You have such a great personality and a loving heart, and you do cheer people up in chat, but remember you don't always have to be entertaining and funny, you can let yourself go and be yourself, and we will listen and support you as much as we can. You are loved, Lav!

Love,
Sujin "It can't rain all the time"