I left work several years ago when I had my first child. Since then I have had another and have been hit in the face with PTSD stemming from my childhood and many experiences since then. I essentially grew up in an abusive cult and years later the leaders of the cult finally were exposed and prosecuted for multiple charges. The last trial I testified in was the end of April. Over the past several years I started to figure out what happened to me because growing up in an environment like this was the norm. I have always let people mistreat me and take advantage of me because that was all I knew. During the period of trial preparation I started seeing a psychiatrist & therapist. The psychiatrist duped me again and was abusive and became very angry with me and had me locked up in a mental institution. This was not the move for a woman suffering with PTSD and the history mentioned above. My family did not know where I was and I had an infant I was breastfeeding. This happened last November and I had to have someone come in to my home and care for me for a few months afterwards. I am in the middle of EMDR and still far from stable. Due to my husband losing his job and having to find gigs on the side, I am having to go back to work so we can keep our house & put food onto the table...plus we need health insurance. I start work next week and am already having extreme anxiety about it, worsening nightmares and extreme tiredness....worse than usual. I'm feeling more and more unstable, but I am trying hard to hold it together for my family. The job I have is a great opportunity, but I will also be working with an abusive ex whom I used to live with. I have been an absolute mess for the past year and the thought of working is frightening. Am I going to make it or am I going to completely fall apart right off the bat?