Nemo
I can certainly identify with what you are saying. I have been there. But I can also tell you, that if you keep working at it, it DOES eventually get better. I cant tell you if its finally finding the right meds, or the therapy, but for me, it has finally got better. I took DBT and that taught me a lot on learning how to identify my emotions and learning how to handle them in a healthier way. I think that probably helped a lot. Life is totally different now. I still think about SI on a regular basis, though it isnt nearly as intense. I just let the thoughts slip through my mind, come and go. Its probably been well over a year and a half since I have cut. But problems dont rule my life anymore. It is the greatest feeling. Hang in there.