hello i am new to this web sight i just found it ur story was the first one i read,im sorry u r haveing so many problems with everything around you ,i dont think ur a looser,i think dealing with depression is one of the hardest things to go threw everything around you is wrong,its all falling apart,you think its all your falt &you beat yourself up over & over,but you have to remember its the disease & not you,& most people run away because they dont know how to handele it,they r weak not you!keep strong dont give up !its a cycle &i hope it changes for you soon,you sound like you need a break!i just had a really bad week friday i told my doc i was suicidal sat was bad & today i woke up like nothing happened it was gone!but it is a cycle it will be back you just gotta try really hard to remind urself of this,when you find that second in the day were you can do it own that second & remind urself dont wait it wont be there for long,the second that is,have faith & pull threw you can do it!beleave in yourself dont beat yourself up your better than that!best of luck! moonbeam2 !hopefully im here to stay if i can figure out how to work this web sight,just wanted to let you know incase i for somereason cant come back,im new at this computer thing im just a lonely mom with 2 kids trying to find people i didnt wanna leave you woundering why i didnt come back but i hope to so maybe ill see ur story & youll be saying how you made it ,beleave inyourself !i do & i just read your story!