Magic sounds like a great way to go to me, and sounds like it's working for you with the dream turning up . What came to you in your dream? Do you normally dream, or remember your dreams, very often? We've done quite a bit with dreams. I regularly have highly symbolic dreams and my T reminds me of them sometimes because they shed some light on my unconscious motives.

What I'm thinking is that I've heard that for people who don't usually feel much emotional reaction, when you do feel them, they could be really strong, and you have to experience them like that for a while until you get used to them. Or something like that. Did you say you don't usually feel a lot of emotions? It's been since I've been in therapy that stuff is coming up and making me feel completely crazy. I understand that that is a result of finally opening the so-called Pandora's box. But, normally, I have lived life calm and cool (Now I'm worrying about whether the same thing is in store for me in therapy . Anyway...) I'd say if therapy is working you will experience a wide range of emotions and it will make you feel confused and like you've lost control. I've read enough about this that I understand its benefit but it's still scary and unsettling.

It sounds like you were really, really hurt by your t suggesting your phone calls might have been too much, even though now you know it was a misunderstanding. It sounded like you felt you were really opening up to her and being vulnerable, and maybe she didn't understand that you felt that way, so it really hurt when she didn't understand that you deeply needed her support. I wonder if you let yourself feel (again) those feelings of shame that you had when you still thought your t didn't want you to call if it could help you understand the feeling better. Every time I remember those moments when she told me that, I re-experience the same bodily sensations and the fear and shame. I'm not sure. Have you already tried that? You said you sat with the feelings but I didn't know if you meant you sat with them when you couldn't control them or if you let yourself feel them some more.