Quote:
Originally Posted by skysblue
Oh, that my T is sick of me; that she's disgusted with me; that she dreads seeing me each week; that the talk of extra restrictions on phone calls is evidence that I'm too much for her and that she has to rein me in; that I talk too much and that I'm terribly selfish and self-indulgent; that she can barely stand our sessions because I'm beyond boring and ridiculous. THAT is the faulty reasoning and I understand that none of that is true but it's what I FEEL.
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If I may don my armchair therapist here
...
IMO this actually not the way you
feel per se, but the way you are reacting to a feeling.
The underlying emotions driving this reaction seem to me like you feel like a burden and not worthy of even asking for attention. Those are the emotions that need wrangling.
I mean whatever put those feelings of unworthiness in you, well, you may never know exactly why or where they came from. You may not be able to fully stop yourself from feeling that way, or you may. But, I promise you, what you can do is create a space for those emotions to exist without creating the reaction you described.
What if you said, "okay my brain is telling me that I am not worthy. I can let that emotion be. It's there, but I can carry on and trust what my therapist says. I may not feel like I can, but I can call her whenever. It's okay."
Sitting with those emotions, creating that space for them to just "be* (or wrangling them like that) is what your therapist is talking about I suspect.