Quote:
Originally Posted by elliemay
If I may don my armchair therapist here  ...
IMO this actually not the way you feel per se, but the way you are reacting to a feeling.
The underlying emotions driving this reaction seem to me like you feel like a burden and not worthy of even asking for attention. Those are the emotions that need wrangling.
I mean whatever put those feelings of unworthiness in you, well, you may never know exactly why or where they came from. You may not be able to fully stop yourself from feeling that way, or you may. But, I promise you, what you can do is create a space for those emotions to exist without creating the reaction you described.
What if you said, "okay my brain is telling me that I am not worthy. I can let that emotion be. It's there, but I can carry on and trust what my therapist says. I may not feel like I can, but I can call her whenever. It's okay."
Sitting with those emotions, creating that space for them to just "be* (or wrangling them like that) is what your therapist is talking about I suspect. |
I guess I don't know how to create that space you're talking about. I don't want to make any phone calls to her now because the feelings associated with the phone are too painful. I don't want to feel that pain and just because I can say it's 'o.k', doesn't mean that I feel that way. It's feels like I'm risking my life or something like that. Even just now writing about it makes me feel panicky. So, how do you do that? Just do an action that feels terrible just because that's what you're supposed to do? Why would I want to feel terrible?
Thanks so much for your input. I just don't know if I can bring myself to do it.