So how were you treated vis a vis your brother? Who is older? Who was neglected when the other came along?

I got a chance to compare my mother's parenting skills (or rather, appalling lack thereof) when my 2 aunts were visiting her with their squabbling grandchildren, and my mom, then each aunt in succession tried to settle a dispute over who would get to sit on the kitchen stepstool. It was like a gameshow contest. My mother blatantly favored the older child (= my brother), win-lose. The first aunt proposed a lose-lose scenario (screaming "okay, nobody gets to sit in the chair!"), and the last, a win-win. I wish I had filmed it, it was that perfect.

Oh, but my point was, you, like me, were probably also always the losing child in the scenario. I kinda leave it to my T to get mad or excited for me, these stories just are not going to hurt me anymore.
Maybe we just keep pulling out these old weeds, and T keeps planting new ones, until they "take".