You don't have to do it right now. You don't have to call her. You don't have to do anything that you don't feel like doing.

Period.

If you don't want to talk about it, don't talk about it.

These things take time. It is your birthright to give yourself that time, space and freedom.

I think it's also really really important to note that your reaction here is not wrong at all. Given the underlying feelings, doesn't it make perfect sense?

Wouldn't anyone react that way? I know I would, and have on multiple occasions. It's not faulty.

This is tough stuff, but doable.

Peace to you.