I always thought they liked me more because I got good grades and was "good", until recently when I faced facts, even tho many of these "facts" are ethnic (Italian), old-world, such as male favoritism and higher intelligence, female virginity and beauty. FAIL! My mother wailed to me many times, "I don't have to worry about YOU, you're smart, you can do anything! I have to worry about YOUR BROTHER!" What does a person say to that - pardon me for breathing? I would bet your parents felt a similar resentment against you - why did YOU take all the good and brains in the family and not leave any for your brother? You are TOO MUCH good - you are too much, we did not need that much daughter, we wanted more son. Stay out of the way (now stay out of T's way brings shame). And you are absolutely right, your life DID depend on it. OUR life and safety and relative peace and happiness and growth depended on our staying the heck out of our angry moms' way. We were smart, we learned, we COMPLIED, unlike our dumb rebellious brothers. No accident that you and I had to learn about attachment from a freakin book.