I agree you're absolutely right Rose. He uses the finances and has threatened not to be supportive if I insist on splitting. We also declared personal bankruptcy(2 yrs ago), so there's no equity in our house and we wouldn't be able to buy a smaller one or get a mortgage at the present time. This is why I feel stuck, but I have managed to cope well despite all that's happened. If there were assets in the marriage then I could get a lawyer and it would all be divided but that's not the case. I appreciate your thoughts and agree with everything you've said - thank you.