Quote:
Originally Posted by skysblue
I don't think it's ever right to deliberately hurt someone's feelings. Even though I go to therapy for ME, does not give me the right to abuse another person. I guess I didn't really 'abuse' her but when describing the incident in which I had shared with her how hard it was to make phone calls under any circumstance and she expressed how she understood how hard that was for me (we were talking about the past in which she figuratively hit me with a 2x4)
And then I said sarcastically, "And so you thought that was a good time to impose stricter boundaries - just when I had shared with you how hard it was to call you? It's not like I overdid it - like 6 times a day or something. Usually only once a week I'd call but sometimes as much as 3 x a week. I almost never ask you to call back but still - that's when you decided to add extra restrictions?"
But, see, I know she didn't mean to do that. It was an honest mistake on her part and I know that but still I rubbed her nose in it - that she made a mistake. That's not nice.
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Skyblue
I agree. It's never right to "deliberately" hurt someone's feelings. If you did (I only am speaking from my own personal experience), I don't believe you did do it deliberately, I believe you
may have done it "unconsciously" AND that's ok. It's there for T and you to discuss and explore.
Recently, my T didn't honor one of my boundaries. He shared a private email I sent him with a secretary, and she sent it back to me. It jeopardized our therapy relationship and damaged the trust we both worked to build. I sent him an email and asked him if he was going to "tighten" boundaries with me even though, in this instance it was HIS to own. It helped me realize, in the past, when people crossed MY boundaries, I felt punished. like it was somehow my fault.
I'm not sure if that is helpful, but it's what came to mind when I read your post.