Yes, Lynn, you certainly are in a pickle. I know you did it because he is the father of your children and you want to have some normalcy for them, but he hardly deserves a birthday wish, let alone a cake. I am not surprised in the least that a psychiatrist thought him to be narcissistic if not full blown NPD. These people truly are living, breathing caricatures and contradictions. It makes me laugh some of the things these people do without batting an eye and they still feel so entitled to proper treatment. It would make a good movie... a comedy or tragedy or maybe a comedic tragedy. Maybe a screenplay would work with an "A Christmas Carol" type plot. What a miracle it would be if a narcissist could be made to comprehend his folly. Sadly, when we are emotionally neck deep in it, it only brings tears. I am glad to hear you are beyond that with this man but sad that you are still stuck.