My sweet friend,

You already know that I do understand what you are saying. I am so sorry that you are going through this. It's so very difficult.

I think it's a good idea you are looking for another place to stay, in case you decide to leave. It will be less scary for you. If you also talk to your T, he/she might guide you towards places or organisations that can help you make a new start. You don't have to decide right now but you can phone them to know what they have to offer. Whatever you decide, I will support you!

I'm so sorry that you are hurting!