I think it's important how we say what we have to say & saying things in the most diplomatic way no matter who or where we are is really an art form of conversation.

When I was with my husband & got into stressful situations, I would just blow up at him or whoever screwed up. After I left my husband, I would find myself doing the same thing. I didn't use sarcasm....I would just blow up at people for doing something wrong.....it came out like I knew they were doing that wrong thing on purpose just to bother me. The more frustrated I would get, the worse my attacking people came out.

The interesting thing is that after leaving my husband & moving 2100 miles away from him & not having anything at all to do with him, I have stopped reacting to people like that & have conscientiously focused on how I reply to people & try to express that I understand where they are coming from, but that I have this problem & could really use their help is solving it (or similar situations). The interesting thing was that before, the people I would interface with it would just turn into an argument or a really bad situation. With the change, I find that I can get people to do what it is that I need in a very nice way & they are the ones agreeing that it's the best & they will go out of their way to help me.....or even like today, the lady was willing to waive the complete late charge rather than just the 1/2 that is their practice.

It is true that "you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar". Realizing & seeing the difference in reactions has really caused me to be aware of the words that come out of my mouth.....not just because I don't want to hurt them (that is a big part) but also because I usually gain out of it much more when I'm nice than when I'm not.