I understand how you feel, although maybe it's not the same, but when you haven't been given what you needed, it's hard to give yourself what you need. I will mess myself up financially, my mother says for somebody so smart how can you be so stupid (reason #xyz I can't talk to her, not saying she's wrong, just not HELPFUL). If you can possibly swing it (financially, but more importantly, emotionally), it would be better to see T and talk about this, mine have always been more understanding and helpful than I ever thought anyone would be. best wishes.